It’s always interesting to dig through old documents saved on your computer that you only vaguely remember writing. Personally, I always find these little, as Peter would say, Word doodles that came during these spurts of desperately wanting to write as well as Deanna  inspiration and I just had to get everything in my head out somewhere fast while it was there. 

I’ve been getting into writing a lot more so far this school year. Unfortunately for you few readers (you’re out there, right? ….*crickets*), most of that ends up beign in a personal journal of my own – a notebook that I write in during the school day.  I try to keep in mind that I need to just type up some of the most thinky snippits I write, I just never get around to doing so.

Anyway, that being said, I thought I’d share with you a word doodle that I just found. I actually love it and am thinking about reviving it and turning it into something more (like I probably originally planned to). Here goes.(I remember that, when I wrote it, I left gaps between the paragraphs where I wanted to add something, but I couldn’t think of the perfect something at that time. So there are parts where you know there’s something missing. That’s okay. Bear with me.)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The last thing he said to her was “Don’t think you’re so special.”

He said this after he told her that she only ever thought of herself and that she was too high maintenance for him, that he didn’t want to take care of her. After he told her that he resented her family.  After he told her she had become boring to him, after he told her that she wasn’t worth his time.

He told her this after she had told him “I love you.”

 ———

Two years they had been together.  And now, the only thing Tilly was able to feel was a boiling, melting mixture of rage, hurt, brokenness, disbelief, fear, pain.  Here, she thought that she found someone who she could give her whole self to, someone she could hand her heart to and be sure that he would take care of it, someone she thought she could be a better Tilly with than without.

Guess she was wrong.

———–

                Tilly was feeling uncomfortable with the noises her straw made, sucking up the last bit of a chocolate and peanut butter milkshake from the bottom of her glass when she heard her phone chirp. Flipping it open, she saw a text from her roommate asking her to bring home fries while she was out.

Before her stood a tall man of about twenty-five with shaggy blonde hair and curious, green eyes. His name tag said “Jenson.”

                “Um, yes, you could say that.”  Tilly had seen this man around her favorite diner, The Encore, before but an occasion to talk to him had never arisen.

                “I see you around here pretty often.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[thoughts?]

I just got back from a camping trip to Petoskey, MI with my family this weekend. Here is a synopsis of 85% of the trip. I couldn’t even stop blogging; I actually wrote what I would have blogged.  I’m pathetic.]

Day 1 – Thursday – the 13th

Packing enought crap into our minivan to live outside for four days has never been my favorite part about camping trips. We meant to leave at 10 am, which of course means that we left around noon. The actual car ride was nice because Deanna and I watched Firefly the whole time. In the middle of the trip, though, my mom asked my dad if he had remembered his swimsuit. He didn’t. My dad is not much of a swimmer, but I am. And I forgot to pack my swimsuit, too. Which is not okay because my swimsuit is this one and the first one that I’ve loved. I feel as great as I look in it (which, let’s face it, is a heck of a lot better than in a usual swimsuit). Which is great because I am not the type who can just throw on any bathing suit and believe that I look good in it. I have curves! There’s no way I can just pull over to some Old Navy and grab a bakini – generall, there, they’re made for young or typicallymodel-y girls with no hips, booty, chestage, or anything. But ANYWAY. I did manage to find a good store and a good suit. And a cute dress, too. That’s always a plus.  =]

After that chaos, we hit the road again. We stopped for dinner at a mexican restaurant that will be on Regis & Kelly on Friday(tomorrow) for their fajitas. They won a contest for it or something. so I thought it would be safe to order a (delicious-sounding) garden fajita.
Wrong.
I didn’t find it at all appetising. So my dad and I swapped meals.

But I love being with my family. They’re the best ever.

When we get to our camp site, we found out that the dude gave away the camp site we asked for, so we ended up in a much smaller one. Kinda clausterphoib for a picnic table, two tents, and a place to keep the van out of the road, but it hasn’t turned out to be too bad. Setting up the site has never been my favorite part, either. But once it was finally together, we made a camp fire and toasted marshamllows and ate Grape Nut Flakes (serious YUM). =]

Day 3 – Saturday – the 15th

This trip has proved to be an interesting one.

Yesterday, I went to the water front near our camp site and got some great pictures. There was a boy playing there who kept being ridiculously picturesque. But it was hot and the water was perfect, so I suggested that we go for a swim. My family, naturally, had a big, chaotic adventure, trying to figure out when and where to swim. We got back to our site only to discover that my big toe on my right foot had been badly sliced. =[

It’s times like that that make me really ahppy that my mom’s around to clean out all the dirt from it and banadage it up for me.

Today, we all went downtown. We had lunch at an adorable and perfect restaurant. Absolutely everything was perfect. From the lemonade to the plates and the chocolate gelato and BLT salads with onion. That lunch pretty much made the whole trip up to Petoskey worth it. We went to some cute shops, tried on some dresses that we couldn’t afford, and some jackets we totally could afford but probably don’t need.

Deanna and I just saw The Time Traveler’s Wife. WORST MOVIE EVER. I have never seen a book get so much injustice before! It’s awful! And not just compared to the book. The movie doesn’t pull heartstrings, there’s no tension, it’s anti-climactic, it was terrible! If you’ve read the book, don’t waste your money. And if you haven’t read the book, don’t waste your money, either. Go use the money you aren’t spending on the movie ticket to go buy the book and READ IT. It’s my least favourite movie ever and my favorite book ever. They left out SO much. The doctor and medicine had no relevance and she only has two or so miscarriages as opposed to the eight or eleven in the book and she never makes him wings because he never gets bitter because he never loses his foot or anything! I’m inscenced.

Huge, stupid, disappointment.

Tomorrow, I plan on photoshoots, toasted marshmallows, sleep, reading, and all-around relaxing!

Day 5 – Monday – the 17th

Well, I didn’t get any more marshmallows, but I did read quite a lot.  I furthered my progress in Ayn Rand’s Atlas Shrugged and started and finished Chuck Klosterman’s Killing Yourself To Live.

And I’m writing this as I’m finishing up typing this post, so I kind of don’t care right now, due to the fact that I’m tired from a chaotic, long, dramatic last day and long car ride.

But yes. This was my car trip.  I will post pictures tomorrow.

There is nothing like returning to a place that remains unchanged to find the ways in which you yourself have altered.
-Nelson Mandela

The best way to predict the future is to invent it.
-Alan Kay

At the end of the game, the king and the pawn go back in the same box.

What you do speaks so loudly that I cannot hear what you say.
-Emerson

There is a poem to be done by the bird with only one wing.
-Deanna

(I did a photoshoot today and couldn’t resist sharing one of my favorite frames. Here you go… )

• the word “Pampers” always makes Deanna giggle.
• How I turned out to be a morning person.
• Madonna’s bra.
• The word “snooze.”
• These shoes.
• Combovers.

(inspired by this)

I’ve completely forgotten about my things to smile about!  I went all the way back to my last one and found out that I last listed #16 way back in “Maximum Capacity For Awesome.”

So. To make up for the ones I’ve lost, here I go….

Reason to smile #17:  Knowing the coolest people in the world.

#18: Having a rockin’ room I love.

#19: Flirting

#20: Chapstick.

#21: Doing something you love.

#22: Witty conversations.

#23: Books.  They just make me happy.

#24: Knowing some one who pretty much always wants to see you smile.

#25: Creating something.

#26: Snow days!

#27: Having no home work.

#28: Dear and the Headlights

#29: Owl City

#30: When some one asks “How are you?” and really wants to know the truth. 

#31: Spending time with Deanna.

#32: College acceptance letters!

#33: Having awesome legos- such as a pirate skeleton, a borg, a cowboy + rifles, two armed Indians, a pirate with a feather in his hat and a parrot, a greaser with a red bandana, a leather jacket, and a knife, and a nice man with a gas mask – standing in a line on your desk shelf.

#34: Not having any clue to what wear, but ending up finding a really cute outfit in your closet.

So SMILE.  =]

Crossed for the next two days to pass quickly (Christmas break!).
Crossed for not failing my two tests on Friday (AP History and Honors Chem).
Crossed for  my brain to start functioning again (it’s stopped in anticipation of Christmas break).
Crossed for landing a good role in the Spring musical (the Sound of Music!).
Crossed for a good Winter (not like last year).
Crossed for my Christmas wishes (I’ve got quiet a few).
Crossed for a really great social life during break (Hayley Joy, Deanna, Neal, Danike, movies, cooking, Brent, shopping…).
Crossed for snow days (we haven’t had any yet this year!).
Crossed for my Christmas list (mostly consisting of a ceramic curling iron, gift cards, and books).
Crossed for a good Solo and Ensemble performance (even though it’s in January).
Crossed for raising my grades (Two A’s, but I need to get my two B’s up…).
Crossed for a chance to organize my school notebooks and binders ASAP (all my school stuff is in one three-subject notebook).
Crossed for my varsity jacket (it’s ready, but my mom wont’ give it to me until Christmas – because it’s not like I need a winter coat before then, before halfway through the winter, not like it’s seven degrees farenheit or anything).
Crossed that my mom will be happier this Winter (this time of year has been hard for everyone since her dad died).
Crossed that the people that I can’t get enough of couldn’t get enough of me (it has been improving…).
Crossed for crazy amounts of photo shoots over break (I swear, I’m so itchy for some.)

Crossed for being able to uncross them.