Monthly Archives: January 2009

Where’s the Smiling?

I’ve completely forgotten about my things to smile about!  I went all the way back to my last one and found out that I last listed #16 way back in “Maximum Capacity For Awesome.”

So. To make up for the ones I’ve lost, here I go….

Reason to smile #17:  Knowing the coolest people in the world.

#18: Having a rockin’ room I love.

#19: Flirting

#20: Chapstick.

#21: Doing something you love.

#22: Witty conversations.

#23: Books.  They just make me happy.

#24: Knowing some one who pretty much always wants to see you smile.

#25: Creating something.

#26: Snow days!

#27: Having no home work.

#28: Dear and the Headlights

#29: Owl City

#30: When some one asks “How are you?” and really wants to know the truth. 

#31: Spending time with Deanna.

#32: College acceptance letters!

#33: Having awesome legos- such as a pirate skeleton, a borg, a cowboy + rifles, two armed Indians, a pirate with a feather in his hat and a parrot, a greaser with a red bandana, a leather jacket, and a knife, and a nice man with a gas mask – standing in a line on your desk shelf.

#34: Not having any clue to what wear, but ending up finding a really cute outfit in your closet.

 

So SMILE.  =]

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Happy Birthday, Michael!

So today is my friend’s, Mike’s, birthday! Last night, on Facebook, he changed his status to “Michael turns 17 at 3 am tomorrow… Hope everyone knows.”   Well. I’m a big one for birthdays. So I told him, “I’m going to tell you happy birthday at three tomorrow!  I will. I”ll set my alarm!”  

Now, I am aware that telling him this turns that into a big commitment – no going back on my word.   But. of course I didn’t wake up when that alarm went off this morning!  Oh, Crap.

So. I had to do something about it. And when said “thing” was done, I told all and explained everything in a wall post to him today.  It says it all:

Okay, so here’s the deal: My plan was to set an alarm to wake up at three and tell you happy birthday. However, I did not wake up when said alarm sounded, and therefore, I missed this opportunity.

I felt SO awful about it that I bought a plane ticket flew all the way over here to Dhaka, Bangladesh, where it IS currently 3 am, so “HAPPY BIRTHDAY!”

I think that pretty much makes up for it.

One of the most awkward things in the world…

You know that favorite pen of yours? Or maybe it’s a really nice mechanical pencil. You use it all the time and, even though you know better, you like to think it magically improves your handwriting.

But  one day, you can’t find it.  You settle for other writing utensils, maybe consider buying a new one of the same brand.

And then about a week after you lost it, you see some one in your class room writing with it. There’s two ways in which to approach this situation:

     1.  Be straightforward. Say, “Hey, that’s my pen!” They’ll get a little freaked out and uncomfortable by your possessiveness/need to have that specific pen. This interaction is awkward.
     2.  Be subtle. “So… Where’d you get that pen?” They’ll feel uncomfortable because you’re inquiring about their writing utensil as if it were a cute top. Chances are that they’ll have one of two answers: “Uh, I’ve had it…” Or “Uh… I found it the other day…” If it’s the latter, then you’ll probably say something like “Um, I think it might be mine…. I lost one just like it not too long ago…”       Either way, they’re feeling awkward.

   If they’re one of those pen/pencil hijackers that take writing utinsils from your book bag or when they’re clipped onto the binding of your spiral notebook because it has a cuter color of ink or it has more of an eraser, they probably think they’ve put in too much effort in acquiring said writing utensil to admit they just found it and risk you being 98% sure it’s yours and taking it back.

     If they’re an honest person and they admit they just found it some where, and you declare that you think it’s probably yours, then both of you will probably uncomfortably feeze for a moment, and they’ll slowly hand you said pen or pencil. From there, it’s entirely your fault whether or not the awkwardness continues.     Unless they have no back-up. Then they have to borrow a pen. Major awkward alert if they ask you if you have an extra.

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Everything is easier in theory.

In English, we just finished reading Beloved by Toni Morrison (phenominal book). In it, there is a stream-of-consciousness section.  Every week, we have to do two journal entries: One assigned, one that we choose. Today, we wrote our own streams-of-consciousness for our assigned journal entry. 

After I got through the initial I’m-writing-with-a-blue-green-pen-because-my-purple-one-won’t-work-right thoughts, I ended up on one core idea. Because it’s in stream-of-consciousness, the grammar and punctuation are not correct.  That’s how it’s supposed to be. Here’s that part of my writing – right off the paper:

 

 

I love people. The hardest thing about people is when you have to hurt them. How do you comprimise your not wanting to hurt them with your I need to hurt them? How do you take not hurting them and the amuont you need to and take the average? When you have to tell some one something but it hurts or when you have to do something but it hurts. How has the human race lived through life? I mean, how have people not just decided to stop living? and i don’t mean suicide, I’d never, ever do that. I mean going numb or deciding other people are too much to deal with? Do things end up worth everything it takes, eventually? Everything is so much easier in theory. You say oh, I’d do this in situation X, but wwhen situation x actually happens, it starts looking and feeling like the quadratic equation. Is there a math problem that you can use to figure out what to do? Plug in the result you want for Y, plug in who your action and decision will effect for X and Z, plug in the outcome you absolutely DO NOT want as Q, plug your heart into the equation and solve it. Or would that mathmatic equation take the worth and purpose out of life? Take the trial and error and learning out of life? If we had a math problem to make our choices for us, would we stop thinking? stop feeling? stop valuing other people and start viewing them as mere variables?

 

 

 

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2009

So 2009 has started out as the best year of my life.  I have so many great things going on for me. Here’s a genera overview of my life in 2009:

1. I MADE MARIA IN MY SCHOOL’S PRODUCTION OF THE SOUND OF MUSIC!!!

2. I’m really making friends and loving meeting people in the play. I told one of my fellow choir girls, “I’m excited about acting wih my friends and making friends with the people I’m acting with.”

3. [Private]

4.  I don’t know if this is good or not, but I’m kind of adjusting to being an only child?  Yes, I still have those moments where I’m like, “Oh, I can’t wait to tell Deanna this!” or “I need her opinion on what to say to this guy ASAP!” and I can’t, but I’m kinda getting used to it.

5. For instance, she doesn’t know that I’m starting a music project with a guy I met at auditions for the musical. But she does now.  Because she’s read this.  ;]

7. I’ve really noticed an improvement in my singing, and especially my nerves. They’ve definitely curved. I still get nervous, but it’s pretty much my body flipping out; I can calm my mind pretty well.

8. The term is almost over. That means no more Chemistry after next Friday! And I get to start out fresh in AP History.

9. My goldfish still arent dead? I haven’t cleaned their tank since summer, probably, I feed them only once a day if I remember, they’re in my old room so I never see them. I’m the worst fish mama ever and they’re still alive. I bet it’s because they can’t help but love me so much.

10. I’ve recovered. Last year, I really had a “funk” going on. I was angry, constantly self-conscious, I had zero confidence (which was reflected in pretty much every part of my life), I had no friends at school, I freaked out over my grades (all A’s, but if it was an A- or a B, I would pretty much cry), I was depressed, my mom and I fought all the time.  I’m better! Like, 110%!  Like I said at the beginning of this post, this has started off being the best year of my life. I’ve been happy (when people ask how I am, I honestly answer “good”!) and confident, and I make friends all the time.   =]

11. I think I’ve figured out what I want to do with my life.  I really think musical theatre. I LOVE acting. I LOVE singing. So.. why not put them together?  All the other things on my list of possible career interests can be part time jobs, or jobs while I go around auditioning, or hobbies. 

12. Unfortunately, I have to leave for school now. Which means sitting through all my classes until rehearsal (after school). So school takes forever now, because I can’t wait to practice. 

What’s your 2009 been like so far?

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