Category Archives: Lists

Don’t Get Me Wrong…

I really like my job. Really. But what I don’t like as much is people. And there are just a few different kinds of people that come in all the time that drive me a a little crazy.

1. The girls who come in wearing very obvious self-tanner and huge Snookie-poofs and order very complicated and picky salads, and then their boyfriends order an actual sandwich and then they say “ugh, I can’t believe you ordered that, how can you eat all that?” in a whiney, obnoxious tone.

2. People who think they deserve everything there and own it all already just because they have some sort of remote connection to the owner. Or they know his first name.

3. Anyone who wears way too much perfume or cologne.

4. People who hand their sandwiches back to me and say, “Didn’t I say to grill this???”  When, in fact, they did not.

5. The women who randomly walk up to the counter and say “CHOCOLATE MILK?!?” And I’m all, “uhhh, what about it?”  and they’re all “They didn’t bring it over!” and I’m like, “it’s right there in the cooler, you get it yourself.” and they try to act like they were still right to be angry as they walk over to get it.

6. Men who are more than twice my age who insist on “taking me away from all this” and promising that I “will never have to make another sandwich again… for money.”

7. People who order while talking on their phone. Especially when they’re in the middle of a monologue and I feel like I have no way to ask any follow-up questions (what kind of bread, any cheese, what kind of toast, etc.).

8. Girls that come in and only order a toasted bagel with cream cheese to go. Not only because this is the exact scenario in which I almost cut off my finger the other day (my boss doesn’t think a bagel-slicer or pre-sliced bagels is sensible), but because it really makes no sense. We’re a cafe/deli. We don’t even make our own bagels, we get them from New York Bagels every week and flash-freeze them to keep them fresh. So it’s not like there’s any special reason our bagels are better than anyone else’s or anything. So if you really want a to-go, toasted bagel and cream cheese, I really just don’t understand why you don’t just go to Starbucks or Tim Hortons or even New York Bagels.

Things that don’t happen anymore, but ought to.

1. I know this is something that’s on every newspaper’s list of obsolete things, but it really makes me sad:  Hand-written letters. Yes, I know they’re pretty much obsolete, but their rarity only enhances their sentimental and romantic value. Not much puts a bigger smile on my face for as long as receiving a hand-written letter does. I write them to many of my friends all the time, and I wish more people would do so. Of course, they’re not every efficient for catching up on things quickly – especially if they’re a friend you talk to or see often online anyway – but they’re perfect for encouragement, love letters, and I-miss-yous.

2. “I-was-just-thinking-about-yous.”  Whether from some one you know romantically or are simply friends with, these short, little messages are just sweet and encouraging. I know a lot of people – myself included – feel very out-of-sight-out-of-mind. It is so encouraging and ego-boosting to know some one was thinking of you and wanted to see how you are doing.

3. Appreciation of some one being well-dressed. Specifically, men appreciating women’s wardrobe. “You make that dress look remarkable” and “I love that color on you” is never heard nowadays. I went out running around in grey, corduroy skinny jeans and black leather boots and some one asked me why I was so dressed up and proceeded to look at me as if I were grocery shopping in a prom dress.  Now, I’m not looking for compliments everyday, and I appreciate that the (awesome) people I know don’t judge me on how I dress. I just think that appreciation of being conscientious about how you present yourself has been lost a little. (Or, perhaps, appreciation in general has been lost a little.)

4. The value of knowing how to cook. Personally, my mother and grandmother are two of the women I’d love to be most like, especially for their ability to cook anything. My grandmother knows everything you could use to substitute for anything else, what oleo is, and the best methods for keeping things tidy. My mother knows what goes with what, can whip up the most delicious meals in no time, the best ways to cook things, and exactly what to do when you make a minor mistake – like putting a cup of sugar into the mixing bowl rather than a tablespoon. I know not everyone really cares about how dinner comes to be as long as they get food, but especially in this economy, it’s invaluable to be able to make French fries and pizza  as well as actual dinners and entrées – on your own instead of paying for them every day.

5. Being just friends. Especially this past school year, I’ve experienced example after example – and even been straight-up told – that when guys first meet you, they’re friendly and interactive, but when they find out you’re not on the dating market, they aren’t so much interested in pursuing any kind of friendship with you. That, or that guys aren’t really friends with girls they wouldn’t date. I am NOT generalizing guys in any way; I know several men that don’t do this and I would never say men are all the same. However, I have simply encountered more men that do this than I expected.

 

What are your thoughts? Do you have any additions?

Yes, it’s a meme.

famous people to invite to your dinner party (dead or alive):

1. David Tennant
2. Robert Downey Jr
3. Tom Felton
4. Joe McHale
5. Adam Baldwin

bands/musicians i’ve been listening to a lot lately:
1. FUN.
2. The Weepies
3. Ingrid Michaelson
4. Bob Dylan
5. [and I’m always listening to] The White Stripes

things i’m addicted to:
1. My Google Reader
2. Singing/Music
3. Making Playlists
4. Books
5. You.
biggest celeb crushes:

[Basically, just look at the first question]
1. David Tennant
2. Robert Downey Jr
3. Tom Felton
4. Joe McHale
5. Adam Baldwin

songs i can’t stop listening to at this moment:
1. At Least I’m Not As Sad (As I Used To Be) – FUN. [[Or, anything by them, really.]]
2. Can’t Turn Back Now – The Weepies
3. I’ve Got a Brand New Pair of Rollerskates (You Got a Brand New Key) – Melanie
4. I Gotta Feeling – The Black Eyed Peas
5. You’ve Got Her In Your Pocket – the White Stripes

best tv shows:
1. Doctor Who
2. Community
3. The Office
4. Chuck
5. Firefly

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My date checklist

So I added a couple, but this brilliant list is reposted from Ginger!

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Wake up at 4am & watch the sunrise together
Maybe not first date material, but perhaps third or fourth. What could be better than sitting close on a rooftop somewhere, talking & laughing & watching the sun come up? Take a flask of hot coffee for extra points.

Have an extravagant brunch at 8am
Get dressed up & do breakfast properly. Fabulous pancakes, decadent waffles, poached eggs & the best hollandaise. Boutique hotels often do a brilliant brunch, but a bit of surreptitious googling should set you on the right track. Thick white linen napkins first thing in the morning are a magnificent way to start the day — & then you can either go your separate ways, or take a walk.

Go to an art gallery on a Saturday afternoon
You’ll learn a lot about the person you’re standing next to if you go & check out art together. Plus it gives you something so much more stimulating to talk about than the last episode of Lost. (Sorry, Lost fans…)

Bring half an evening
Like a movie (or movie tickets), some food or a drink. You get the opportunity to impress your crush with your superior taste while also finding out more about them. You don’t have to meet at someone’s house, either — a park bench, good picnic spot or even town square could work too.

The double-Netflix date
For those of you not in America, Netflix is an on-demand DVD rental service that the entire country seems to have a subscription to. Sorry to be so geographically-specific, but “double-Netflix” rolls off the tongue a little better than, “Let’s just each bring a movie & subject one another to our extremely questionable taste”!

The Case Of The Mystery Band
Grab a copy of your local newspaper or magazine, close your eyes, run your finger over the “live music” section & choose a band neither of you have ever heard of to go & see. It could be amazing; it could be completely hellish — you won’t know until you go! But even if it’s shocking, it’s definitely a bonding experience, & maybe even something to tell the children, eh?

Make a fort
Enough said.

Bring your favourite book & read the first chapter aloud
Again, this says a lot about a person. Will they bring The Witches? Lolita? The 120 Days Of Sodom? I can barely stand the suspense…

Mix CD trade
Are mix CDs antiquated? Maybe you could just make one another a playlist on your iPod or something… Either way, sharing & discussing music is one of the world’s great, little-known aphrodisiacs. Truth. (Unless all they listen to is Richard Marx. Damn.)

Do something neither of you have done before
Pottery class? Swing dancing lessons? Hire a moped & drive out into the country? Who knows, but it’s nice to share an experience that is new to both of you!

Random restaurant date
Flip open the yellow pages to ‘R’ for ‘Restaurants’, close your eyes & pick a place to eat at. Just like the mystery band date, you never know how it’ll go — it could be a hidden treasure or a total health hazard, but that’s part of the fun, isn’t it?!

Hot air ballooning
Not the cheapest date idea, I’ll admit, but certain to score you points & to impress your lover-to-be. Maybe if you’re dating an heiress?

Decorate a Christmas tree together
Yes, this one is seasonal, but think how fun it would be! It’ll cheer up your (or their) apartment, give you a visual reminder of them (assuming the date goes well), & maybe you could even go ice-skating afterwards. Cute ++.

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I have returned from my (unannounced) blogging hiatus!

So, I know I haven’t blogged in a while.   And I know how much of cliche it is to say that. But it must be said.

To catch you up, I’ll give you a brief overview of the end of my summer and the beginning of my senior year.  You’re welcome.

  • School is school.  After going to the Vocal Arts Institute at Mpulse at  U of M this summer, being in my high school choir again is hard to adjust to.
  • I’m going to my last high school Homecoming dance this Saturday.
  • I’ve decided that I do love my hair short and so it will get cut and remain that way. =]
  • Today, Twitter had a topic trend called #Iamsinglebecause. I searched it and all of them were all, “#iamsinglebecause I am fat” or “because boys are idiots” or “because I’m f*@&ed up.”  I posted one. “#Iamsinglebecause I choose to be.
  • The Detroit Lions beat the Washington Redskins. (!)
  • Laser tag is all I will be doing in Heaven.
  • I got my homecoming dress for $8. 
  • I got my license!
  • And a car.
  • It’s name is Marty. Marty McFly.
  • He’s a Transformer.

 

And now, for some of my absolute favorite internetz finds! =]

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Things that really aren’t necessary

  • Shirts with miscellaneous slogans. I saw one Friday that said “I ❤ My money.”   Do you, sir?  Who the eff doesn’t? It really isn’t necessary.
  • Obnoxiousity and attitude problems.
  • Using Twitter only to obsess over the Jonas Brothers or some other adolescent fad.
  • Complaining about the fact that you have to go to school in general. It’s free education! Do you know how many places in the world would love to have access to that? (don’t get me wrong, we all have those days when we don’t want to go for specific reasons in our lives, I get that.)
  • Grills.
  • Simulating suicide. It might just be my school, but mimicking shooting yourself in the head with your fingers positioned like a gun. This is uber unnecessary not to mention insensitive.
  • Referring to your computer as a “compy.”
  • Referring to your boyfriend as “Boyfriend” on the Internet. I think it’s slightly obnoxious. He has a name. If the fact that he’s your boyfriend is not significant to the point of your post or blurb or tweet,  it’s very unnecessary.
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Hobo names you might like to consider for your future children.

Straight from The Best American Nonrequired Reading, 2006, are 700 names of real hobos from all across america. I shall share my favorites with you:

16. Sistery Brothery Nabob
22. Floyd Dangle
25. Normal-faced Olaf
39. Balloonpopper Chillingsworth
43. Foreign Thomas, the Strangetalker
54. Gila Monster, Jr.
56. “X” the Anonymous Man or Woman
58. Reynaldo Reynaldoson, Who Will One Day Kill His Father
63. Lil’ Jonny Songbird, the Song-bird Eater
68. Beef-or-chicken Bob Nubbins
71. Canadian Football Pete
72. Meep Meep, the Italian Tailor
74. Maria the Pumpkin-Patch Crooner
78. Prostate Davy
83. The Unanswered Question of Timothy
85. Guesstimate Jones
88. Sir Roundbelly DeDelight
89. Newton Fig
96. Von Skump
99. Freak Le Freak, the Freakster
104. Persuasive Frederick
105. Celestial Stubbs
126. Drink drunk Thom, the Drunk
153. Slo-Mo Deuteronomy
166. Dora the Explorer
187. Gyppo Moot, the Enigma Machine
191. Lonely Heiny Alan Meister
211. Fatman and the Creature (note: there was no creature)
224. Manny Stillwaggon, the Man with the Handlebar Eyebrows
258. Albuterol Inhaler Preston McWeak
317. Sssssssssssssssss, The Hisser
322. Gluttonous-Slim
396. Not-Only-But-Also Pete
450. my-e-hobo.com
485. Both Dakotas Dave
487. Transistorized Maximillian, the Hobo Cyborg
489. Pantless, Sockless, Shoeless, Buster Bareass
495. The Goose
496. Not the Goose
510. Bum-Hating Virgil Hate-Bum
513: Most Agree: It’s Kilpatrick
562. Paste-Smeller Luke
605. Amen to Polly Fud
632.  His Excellency Nooney Sockjelly
663. Uranus John, the Star-Traveler
678. Sanitized-for-Your-Protection Eddie Summers
700. Trainwhistle Ernie Roosevelt, the President’s Long-Lost Brother.

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These are actual words but they sound like something I’d make up…

Spendy  – adj.  Expensive, costly

Cluefuladj.  Knowledgeable and well-informed.

Greige adj.    A color between grey and beige.

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