Tag Archives: name

Hobo names you might like to consider for your future children.

Straight from The Best American Nonrequired Reading, 2006, are 700 names of real hobos from all across america. I shall share my favorites with you:

16. Sistery Brothery Nabob
22. Floyd Dangle
25. Normal-faced Olaf
39. Balloonpopper Chillingsworth
43. Foreign Thomas, the Strangetalker
54. Gila Monster, Jr.
56. “X” the Anonymous Man or Woman
58. Reynaldo Reynaldoson, Who Will One Day Kill His Father
63. Lil’ Jonny Songbird, the Song-bird Eater
68. Beef-or-chicken Bob Nubbins
71. Canadian Football Pete
72. Meep Meep, the Italian Tailor
74. Maria the Pumpkin-Patch Crooner
78. Prostate Davy
83. The Unanswered Question of Timothy
85. Guesstimate Jones
88. Sir Roundbelly DeDelight
89. Newton Fig
96. Von Skump
99. Freak Le Freak, the Freakster
104. Persuasive Frederick
105. Celestial Stubbs
126. Drink drunk Thom, the Drunk
153. Slo-Mo Deuteronomy
166. Dora the Explorer
187. Gyppo Moot, the Enigma Machine
191. Lonely Heiny Alan Meister
211. Fatman and the Creature (note: there was no creature)
224. Manny Stillwaggon, the Man with the Handlebar Eyebrows
258. Albuterol Inhaler Preston McWeak
317. Sssssssssssssssss, The Hisser
322. Gluttonous-Slim
396. Not-Only-But-Also Pete
450. my-e-hobo.com
485. Both Dakotas Dave
487. Transistorized Maximillian, the Hobo Cyborg
489. Pantless, Sockless, Shoeless, Buster Bareass
495. The Goose
496. Not the Goose
510. Bum-Hating Virgil Hate-Bum
513: Most Agree: It’s Kilpatrick
562. Paste-Smeller Luke
605. Amen to Polly Fud
632.  His Excellency Nooney Sockjelly
663. Uranus John, the Star-Traveler
678. Sanitized-for-Your-Protection Eddie Summers
700. Trainwhistle Ernie Roosevelt, the President’s Long-Lost Brother.

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As I predicted, an interesting first week of term #4…

So on Tuesday, this kids walks into the gymn for PE.  Mr. Ford, my teacher, wasn’t in there yet.  So the kid walks up to me with a friend and says “Are you the gymn teacher?” 

What.

I smiled and said, “Yes. I’m the gymn teacher.”
        “What are we doing today?”
        “We’ll talk about that later but right now you’re going to get on the floor and give me 50 push ups.”

Horrified, he looked at his friend. I smirked and said, “I’m SIXTEEN.” And walked away. He was stunned.  But I guess he got over his embarrassment and now he always calls me “teach.” 

I don’t think he has any idea what my real name is.

Also, rehearsals this week have been interesting.  One of my lines is “Liesl, will you give us a do?”  But I was thinking of the do and I ended up saying, “Diesel, will you give us a lo?”   Better yet, my director’s name is Mrs. Lowe.  So yeah.

 

In other news, Peter DeWolfe is amazing.

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